Student Well-Being

3 Tips for Building Independent Thinkers Who Can Manage Their Emotions

By Lauraine Langreo — February 19, 2025 4 min read
Illustration of butterfly.
  • Save to favorites
  • Print

Teachers and principals are noticing that older elementary students are struggling to manage their emotions and behaviors.

Their poor self-regulation skills put them at a disadvantage when they move on to middle school and might be a reason why educators report that their middle and high school students are struggling to direct their own learning, advocate for themselves, and take responsibility for their education.

While these are skills that kids acquire and develop over time, experts say the COVID pandemic had a lasting effect on children’s self-regulation skills. The increase in kids’ screen time is also likely affecting students’ social and behavioral development, experts say.

In a Feb. 13 Education Week K-12 Essentials Forum panel, an elementary school principal and a social-emotional learning expert discussed what steps schools need to take to help students learn to regulate their emotions and become more independent thinkers and decisionmakers. The panelists were Jana Clark, the principal of Boyd Elementary in Boyd, Texas; and David Adams, the CEO of the Urban Assembly, a nonprofit school support organization that focuses on social-emotional learning.

Here are three takeaways from their discussion.

1. Help students name the emotions and the skills that they need to learn

Elementary students are still learning and developing social-emotional skills. That’s why it’s vital for them to be able to name the emotions that they’re feeling and learn the skills they can use to cope with those emotions, Adams said. Those emotions can range from anger to sadness to fear.

To deal with emotions, Adams recommends students learn to talk about concepts such as empathy, compassion, grit, and self-management.

“We need to ensure students have visibility of these concepts, so that they know what they’re doing when they’re doing it,” he said. “Language helps students to form ideas and then use them effectively when they need to retrieve them in order to solve problems.”

With secondary students who are learning to be more independent, it’s also important for them to be able to name the skills that they’re supposed to be working on, Adams said.

The structure of middle and high school is designed to give students more freedom and independence, the panelists said. For instance, instead of having to walk in a line to get from one place to another, secondary students have the freedom to get to their next class entirely on their own.

With that kind of independence for students built into their daily experiences, secondary schools should then be clear about the expectations they have for students, Adams said.

“We need to name things like responsibility,” he said. “We need to name things like goal-setting, self-management, so it’s clear what it is that we’re expecting and what it is that we’re developing [in the students].”

2. Adults need to model the behaviors students are learning

Naming the emotions and the skills that students are learning is just one part of the equation, the panelists said. Educators should also model these skills so students can see them in action.

For instance, teachers could say, “I’m feeling a little frustrated right now. I’m going to take a breath so I can re-engage in the task at hand,” Adams said.

Or when a teacher sees a student push another, they might ask the first student why they did that, and the student might say it’s because they’re frustrated. The teacher could dig deeper and ask why the student was frustrated, and it might be because the other student was in their space, Clark said.

See Also

Social Emotional Learning priorities emerge.
Anna Godeassi for Education Week

“It’s important for teachers to talk [about] those things out loud, to model it for the class,” she added.

The challenge is that for the adults in the room, doing that can sometimes be outside their comfort zone, Clark said.

Teachers might feel like they’re not supposed to tell students when they’re frustrated or overwhelmed, but it can be a learning opportunity for students to understand how to get from frustration back to productivity, the panelists said.

3. Give students space to practice the social-emotional skills they’re learning

Students also need the time and support to practice their social-emotional skills, according to the panelists.

At Boyd Elementary, every month there’s a different social-emotional skill that the school emphasizes, Clark said. In February, the skill is compassion, and for the whole month, they encourage students and staff to show compassion toward others and talk about ways they’ve done that.

“There are some things that we can do as campus leadership to be sure that it’s not just a poster on the wall, and it’s not just a word,” Clark said.

In secondary schools, it’s important to create an environment where students can safely demonstrate and practice their independence, Adams said.

One natural way to do that is through student leadership groups or other student-led initiatives, Clark said. Student leaders have a finger on the pulse of the social-emotional needs in the school.

Events

This content is provided by our sponsor. It is not written by and does not necessarily reflect the views of Education Week's editorial staff.
Sponsor
Assessment Webinar
Reflections on Evidence-Based Grading Practices: What We Learned for Next Year
Get real insights on evidence-based grading from K-12 leaders.
Content provided by Otus
This content is provided by our sponsor. It is not written by and does not necessarily reflect the views of Education Week's editorial staff.
Sponsor
School & District Management Webinar
Breaking the Cycle: Future-Proofing Schools Against Chronic Absenteeism
Chronic absenteeism is a signal, not just data. Join us for a webinar on reimagining attendance with research & AI!
Content provided by Panorama Education
This content is provided by our sponsor. It is not written by and does not necessarily reflect the views of Education Week's editorial staff.
Sponsor
Reading & Literacy Webinar
Trust in Science of Reading to Improve Intervention Outcomes
There’s no time to waste when it comes to literacy. Getting intervention right is critical. Learn best practices, tangible examples, and tools proven to improve reading outcomes.
Content provided by 95 Percent Group LLC

EdWeek Top School Jobs

Teacher Jobs
Search over ten thousand teaching jobs nationwide — elementary, middle, high school and more.
View Jobs
Principal Jobs
Find hundreds of jobs for principals, assistant principals, and other school leadership roles.
View Jobs
Administrator Jobs
Over a thousand district-level jobs: superintendents, directors, more.
View Jobs
Support Staff Jobs
Search thousands of jobs, from paraprofessionals to counselors and more.
View Jobs

Read Next

Student Well-Being What RFK Jr. Thinks Schools Ought To Do About Cellphones
At least 19 states have laws or policies that ban or restrict students’ use of cellphones in schools, according to EdWeek's tracker.
4 min read
Health and Human Services Secretary Robert F. Kennedy Jr. arrives before President Donald Trump addresses a joint session of Congress at the Capitol in Washington, Tuesday, March 4, 2025.
Health and Human Services Secretary Robert F. Kennedy Jr. arrives before President Donald Trump addresses a joint session of Congress at the Capitol in Washington, Tuesday, March 4, 2025.
Ben Curtis/AP
Student Well-Being Research Says Recess Is Important. What Stands in the Way?
Recess, and unstructured play, is essential for development for children, but equity issues can abound.
5 min read
Kindergarteners Jack Rockwell, 6, Cameron Kenney, 6, and Joey Cournoyer, 5, play on the school’s new swing as classmates wait their turn at Taft Early Learning Center in Uxbridge, Mass., on March 12, 2025.
Kindergarteners Jack Rockwell, 6, Cameron Kenney, 6, and Joey Cournoyer, 5, play on the school’s new swing as classmates wait their turn at Taft Early Learning Center in Uxbridge, Mass., on March 12, 2025. The school redesigned its playground to be more accessible, including an wheelchair-friendly swing.
Brett Phelps for Education Week
Student Well-Being Quiz Test Your Knowledge: The Role of Physical Activity in Schools
Regular movement boosts student focus, cognitive skills, and academic success. Test your knowledge of physical activity in schools.
2 min read
Students in Robyn Newton’s P.E. class run across the gym at Vergennes Union Elementary School in Vergennes, Vt., on Nov. 18, 2024.
Students in Robyn Newton’s P.E. class run across the gym at Vergennes Union Elementary School in Vergennes, Vt., on Nov. 18, 2024. In this K-5 school, movement breaks are incorporated in classrooms, hallways, and on school grounds as a regular part of a students' day.
Jaclyn Borowski/Education Week
Student Well-Being Opinion An NFL Franchise Is Tackling Chronic Student Absenteeism. Here's How
Athletes understand why showing up every day to work matters. Can they persuade students?
8 min read
The United States Capitol building as a bookcase filled with red, white, and blue policy books in a Washington DC landscape.
Luca D'Urbino for Education Week